I Need One Of These Shirts
I’ve masturbated my ex several times now!
Holding the Muse Hostage
Is it bad when one deliberately avoids taken one’s meds in order to “see what happens”, and hopefully be inspired to write or be creative again?
I suppose omission of certain key substances is on the same lines as those who consume certain key substances…
Balancing Lust and Misanthropy
It is a very delicate balancing act to retain some amount of toughness and disgust with the world in general, and yet to see all the beauty around me and be drawn to it.
I think perhaps one of the stereotypes about my kind, that we are somehow “weaker” than heterosexual males, is due to a sort of acquiescence or deference to the strength possessed by others. A lot of straight male interaction is built around competition and dominance, in establishing the alpha male of the pack or whatever. It is a sort of refutation of the masculinity of others. On my side of the fence, the opposite occurs, and the masculinity of the other is celebrated and honored.
Yet…
Such feelings run counter to the dismissal of the majority of stupid fuckers that dominate the planet. When one’s oppressors are very pretty, how does one deal with those revolutionary tendencies? How can you strike out at beauty when it does incredibly stupid things?
New Boy
Had a date with a new boy this evening.
PROS:
Cute as fuck
twinkish (good+++++)
Uncut (omgsqueeeee)
Does this incredibly sexy thing with his eyebrow
Uber-geeky
Very liberal
CONS:
Smokes 
A little young (22, anyone?)
Occasionally does drag (!!!)
Likes body kits, spinner rims, etc.
Hmm…
Well… there’s more in the pros list…. yay!
The Roots of Coincidence
I first heard this song ten years ago, and this is the first live clip of it being performed that I’ve found. It remains one of my favorites. In general I’m not big on experimental jazz, but I’ll make an exception for Pat Metheny.
Poisonal Updates
- I am horny, but not for physical intimacy. I am horny for emotional intimacy. Does that even make sense? Probably not.
- I spent over an hour in a costume shop with consummate geeks on Saturday and I am having second thoughts about this whole larping thing. I did not get a costume and I didn’t attend what would have been my first session. They are strong with the geeky ways and I do not know if I want to travel down that avenue any farther than I already have. The question of going to Dragon*con has already been asked, and will prove to be a puzzling conundrum indeed. On one hand, it’s an extended vacation with cute gay guys who have a lot of similar interests. On the other hand… it’s a convention of tens of thousands of people dressed up in ridiculous costumes and revealing the full extent of their addictions to fantasy/sci-fi/Internet culture to the world, God and everybody.
- My car has been repaired but the speakers were damaged in the process, and it’s not fucking worth it to take it back to the shop and have them fix it. So I’ll probably be getting some new speakers for my car. The rock star thinks I should get ghetto blasters (as that’s how his crew rolls) but I’d be content to just have a new set of the standard issue. I had no complaints about the sound system before.
- Work fucking sucks right now and is eating up all my time. When I come home I am too physically and mentally exhausted to produce viable content for you, my wonderful readership. So, to paraphrase the cliche, if you don’t have anything interesting to say, don’t say anything at all. Everyone at work is busting their ass because they’re getting ready to announce a significant number of layoffs in a week or two.
- This is a pretty sweet game, totally free to play but you can get some nifty perks if you purchase some pre-paid game cards for it.
- I wish I could find someone who 1) gave a shit about me, and 2) wanted to suck me off. Now really, is that so much to ask? I have no shortage of one or the other, but the combination is proving elusive.
- I need a new place to live.
Unfiltered 02
Laying claim to the last bastion of the flame
I deal I kill I felt the spill as it rolled down the stairs and puddled into a grody little shit-faced sort of munchkin picking on deciduous and hallucinatory candor whispering meadows drunk down the blacktile black tie event for buttons and mindy sack shat shit fit flat scat double twat i heard a black gagging goggleface dog lying in mulch ditch for a great grand delusional amusement mansion atrophy wind whisper atrophy black twisted round whistle black black starry-eyed oceans starry-eyed lakes and placid splendor in dew-drop oblivion for falling in a mercenary way in screaming for depilatory creams and lost augurs in a devendra sort of hoity toity smashtop crashdown hardcastle flack cover samhain shovel willow wishy wasp as the chill nip tip tick and click crack the stack smokestack on track when the gaslights and oh how the gaslights and then when the gaslights go out out out and then there is no more
sweet sickly mold and mildew plastic prison in cages faces places raped plastic dreams dogma orthodox pointed stars ultra-crash final-burn deft and eldritch oxygen bunting serenading clothes cut from a filtered cloth through which the mites and moths shall not pass switch cut snip snip threadbare threadbard cut the swing Singer down tap tap tap clickity clickity dancing mandibles dancing drooling mandibles hissing pissing existing for no other fucking purpose or person fundament foolish foalish whelp and lather slime dream time climb around the high mountain gate agape and aglow with the ravishment of the bride of the one true theosophical living word of the holy tongue of the great grandest dream in the utmost pinnacle of the highest spire that towers above the loftiest universe in the crowing headpiece of the revered and reverent godhead looking down on all creation casting tears on all creation sitting way fucking high over all of creation and wondering watching waiting what it feels like to be beholden to ones own strings to be subject to ones own arbitrary laws to be abject horror and to feel abject horror and to realize and understand that the universe and the unbelieving unreal nonexistence are cleaving to one another like mad lovers in heat because the plaindog generals in the plaindog reality can’t stand their plaindog limitations and the fantastical beasts of the neverafter cannot live without the aching desire of the substance of something that actually fucking exists somewhere other than in a sketchbook or on a restroom wall
dreams made flesh and real and manifest true and transparent and ultimate veins to rein in the final curfew of the last line of heroin to the true heart of the almighty gazing and grazing upon the choicest of souls in that most mercenary black-wind whistling sort of way——-halloween and lollipops and milk dud musings while walking through the stores of lies and the tiles of lyes and the dyes of those within a dream, masking the dream with new dreams through which dreams may dream of other dreams and find comfort in something completely similar to themselves
coiled and constricting madness clings to all that crawl forth from the void and find the wholesome appeal of differentiation to at last be lacking in…. inn…… innnnnn……………………….. special appeal
some hearts beat
and some beat hearts
The Last Bastion of Geekdom
I have met an interesting couple (of boys) online who live not too far from me. We have a lot of the same interests, except they are deeply invested in something I’d always viewed with derision: LARPing. For those not in the know, LARP stands for “live action role playing” and basically amounts to a type of game where everyone gets “in character” and behaves as their character would behave, and you have a fictional setting somewhere, and (sometimes) some kind of stated goal or objective for the whole thing.
In its worst form, you end up with lots of old, neck-bearded virgins with horrible BO, battling it out with foam swords in their mothers’ basements.
I have been invited to attend these boys’ LARPing session this Saturday… and I think I’m going to check it out. Mostly out of morbid curiosity… but partly on account of them being the ones who invited me for the threesome. (They are tres cute BTW, so no worries about me shagging a homely sort out of desperation.)
I’ll let you know how it goes… I’m sure it’ll be a memorable occasion.
The Old Popularity Index
